You, or a loved one, might be on the road to ruin if you
have the characteristics of an accountant. To help you avoid this horrible
future, a team of psychologist developed the following list of traits. If one
or more of these traits apply to you, please seek professional
help.
You might be
an accountant.
If you call your child My Little Dependent,
You might be
an accountant.
If your child thinks there are five seasons in the year:
spring, summer, fall, winter, and tax season,
You might be an accountant.
If your child thinks Little Bo Peep got a casualty loss
deduction for her sheep,
You might be an accountant.
If you know the cost of everything, but the value of
nothing,
You might be an accountant.
If you sort your socks before you wash them,
You might be
an accountant.
If you think you’re popular because someone asked you for
directions.
You might be an accountant
If you go insane when someone folds a map the wrong way,
You might be an accountant.
If your alarm clock has a calculator function,
You might be an accountant.
If you think Ex Lax is a deductible moving expense,
You might be an accountant.
If you don’t know that
You might be an accountant.
If you solve problems that people didn’t know they had,in way that they don’t understand,
You might be an accountant.
If you don’t have the charisma to be a mortician,
You might be an accountant.
If you don’t know that CPA stands for Constant Pain in the
Ass,
You might be an accountant.
If you think God created Attorneys to make your fees look reasonable,
You might be an accountant.
If you get upset that the bank Debits your account when it
takes money away,
You might be an accountant.
If you know what a debit is, you’re doomed.
If you round off numbers to two digits just to prove you are
not anal,
You might be an accountant.
If you inventory cattle by counting their legs and dividing
by four,
You might be an accountant.
If you can’t sleep because counting sheep is too exciting,
You might be an accountant.
If you see everything in black and red,
You might be an accountant.
If you refer to April as harvest season, or think April 16th
is a national holiday
You might be an accountant.
If you’re considered the life of the party at insurance
agent’s conventions,
You might be an accountant.
If your cardiologist asks you to be an organ donor to assure
that a deserving person will get an unused heart,
You might be an accountant.
If you know that there are three types of accountants: those
that can count and those that can’t,
You might be an accountant.
If your car gets 50 miles per gallon and you never go
anywhere,
You might be an accountant.
If you think pocket protectors will have a revival, and that
green eye-shades are a fashion statement,
You might be an accountant.
If your idea of trashing a motel room is refusing to fill
out the quest comment card,
You might be an accountant.
If you stared at your orange juice for three hours because
the box said Concentrate,
You might be an accountant.
If your wife cures her insomnia by asking about your work
day,
You might be an accountant.
If you think
You might be an accountant.
If you’re jealous that a male sperm has a 1 in a million
chance of becoming human,
You might be an accountant.
If you know 30 ways to make love, but have never done one of
them,
You might be an accountant.
If you get sexually excited when you hear double entry,
You might be an accountant.
If you think a marginal tax rate is the cost of getting some
on the side,
You might be an accountant.
If you think an early withdrawal penalty is a sexual
dysfunction,
You might be an accountant.
If you consider sex a charitable gift,
You might be an accountant.
If your personality is an effective form of birth control,
You might be an accountant.
If you go to sleep with the prayer, “Oh God, please give me
the wisdom to distinguish the important from the trivial, and help me relax
about the insignificant details, please start at 10:53:16 am, Pacific Standard
Time, tomorrow,
You might be an accountant.
And finally,
If you didn’t laugh at these
jokes,
You might be an accountant.
